In my last post I wrote about highschool and what it can be like when you move to a new one.
Based on my own personal experience in highschool I wasn't looking forward to week 3 of our theatre company's highschool program. My hypothesis was that by week 3 the kids would have decided I was weird and to be treated so. I won't lie, I expected to be the subject of various rude comments/jokes (mostly made just out of earshot so that no-one would get into trouble).
Our 3rd excursion to the local highschool working with our theatre company was a pleasant relief and enlightening. The kids were even better than week 2. We weren't the butt of cruel jokes and snide remarks. The students enthusiastically worked on their drama activities with us as though we belonged. There wasn't just a half-hearted respect being shown out of courtesy to the people visiting their school, but rather and obvious respect for each member of the theatre company present at the workshop. While the students were able to observe and identify ways in which each of us differed from the norm, we were not ridiculed, just accepted for who and what we are.
Of course, years of ridicule and school yard bullying makes a person cynical about supposedly positive experiences. I fit this category. Even with the students happily engaging and sharing with us I still held out on my acceptance of the positivity of the situation until right at the end when 4 students were interviewed about their experiences working with us. All four learnt a lot about the autism spectrum, clearly did not view people with a diagnosis as less capable or valuable ('different' was the word they most used), they all said it was a positive experience and that they were glad that they had the opportunity to meet with people who see the world from a different perspective. I was particularly heartened, when one of the boys did his interview, as I had been of the impression that he was not particularly keen on our introduction to his 'slack class'; he was just as positive as the girls.
Apart from discovering that "Week 3" didn't have to be the nightmare that it was for me when I really attended highschool, I had a big revelation. Being more than a decade older than the kids in the class, and not actually being part of their class, I was able to observe their interactions. I saw how friends in the class teased each other as a way of communicating and getting along. As an adult I could recognise that, but I thought back to when I was in school and realised that even at 16 years of age I hadn't yet developed the skill to tell when someone teasing was deliberately being mean or being socially friendly. I still haven't fully mastered this skill, but 10 years ago I couldn't tell at all. Seeing these interactions with a new level of social maturity made me realise that while there were definitely people in school who were mean to me and made life hell, that there were not nearly so many of these people as I thought: A lot of the times I felt like someone was being mean, I now realise they were probably trying to be friendly. Now I wonder what these people thought when I gave reponses to what I perceived to be insult. All I can think is that it would have been just as confusing for them when they got an unexpected reponse from me (and probably much easier in the end to not try and include me and to leave me alone).
It was nice to have a "Week 3" that didn't leave me traumatised and tearful.
Now I just need to work out how to tell what is friendly jest and what is not when I am interacting with peers my own age.
No comments:
Post a Comment